July has pass..Here comes August...^___^

July had just ended yesterday. Today is the 1st of August, 2012...Time really had passed by so fast..Without me realizing, 2012 is coming close to an end...Well for August, SYD3 is coming...Hahaha the details for it I will update later...heheh well for the 1st of August, 2012, I wanna share something interesting for couples which I found on facebook....Well here goes nothing....

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be.

Slower is better.


Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve

then heck no, you can’t “be friends.”

A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.

Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.” You’ll be mad at yourself

a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.

He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant,

Why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.

If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.


You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.

Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are…even if he has more education or in a better job.

Do not make him into a quasi-god.

He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else’s man.

Oh Lord!  If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you.

Think about it...

* Enjoy reading* ^__^

Did I fell in love with her or was it just my hormones ?...^_^

Its been a while since I was last hurted by the previous girl that I like so much. Well its hard to get over her but as u know, time heals everything. I am quite ok by now and I can manage to face her without feeling hurt at all. The weird thing is I dont know why I feel nothing when I talk to her or when she talk to me. I just feel nothing, no happiness, no sadness, no pain, just nothing, like an empty bottle filled with air.

I guess that is what happens huh after you are being hurt by someone. Hehe anyway it does not really bother me at all. Even though I manage to forgive her in the end, I feel like I am so lazy to talk to her and I dont even bother to talk to her at all. I guess I feel better by doing so. Hehe why bother talking to the person that played with your feelings and hurt you. Anyway she never bother bout how I feel so I guess I should do the same now. Never bother what she is doing, just completely ignoring her would be the best solution.

Well, I am totally ok now. But I just don know why I fall in love with another girl again. Its not a crush though, maybe I do like that girl very much. I had know her for almost a year, Far more longer than the girl who hurt me last year. Hmmm, the thing is I dont even know if I am falling in love with her or was it just my hormones playing with me ? It just started yesterday. Throughout the months that I know her, I never even have any feelings towards her at all. I guess after knowing for a long time, then I realize I had fallen in love with her. I think she is on the same boat too since I told her about it. LOL...Anyway both of us had suffered a bad relationship, so both of us are kinda like a bit freak out to get into another new relationship. We both agreed that from our past experience, things could become the same again, and maybe we would end up killing our friendship.

For sure, I wont want that to happen. So I guess I just wait for another 2 years like that and see what would happen between us. If its quite ok already, why not? Anyway I just leave it to God to decide. I dont know if she is the one for me as well. I am kind of in the dilemma now. So I guess I just need time to think about this and I know she too needs time. I dont really understand what is the true feeling of fallling in love and neither does she later. We both are confuse if we really fall in love with each other.

Therefore, I think the best solution is just pray to God and ask for his guidance. Giving time for each other to think this throughly is also important. I dont want the same thing to happen again and I think she too hopes for the same thing. I dont want to get hurt and I dont want her to be hurt as well. I just cant bear to see her get hurt. Well I guess I just treat her like a friend for now and see how things go.

Hahaha dont know if this is God's will or not, well I know He always prepare something for me after I faced such a painful relationship. Hopefully things will turn out well. Just leave it to God then...^______^

To her: If you are really mine, I am sure God would want us to be together. I will pray for you, and hopefully you will pray for me too...^______________________^

Qualities of my future girlfriend and my future wife that I want...^_^

Its true that I love my single life for now but I cant be single forever right ? In the end I still need to find my other soul mate to be with me until death pull us apart also. Sometimes loneliness can really pierce you like a knife stabbing your flesh. Well as the saying goes, no man is an island right ?? Hahaha..

Well I dont have high expectations of the qualities my future girlfriend had. Well if it is possible, I really hope my girlfriend would eventually be my wife as well. But its kinda hard to find a relationship that would last long till marriage right ? I seen many couples broke up after being together for so long. Well I was wondering when will I met the right girl tough ?? Still kinda of waiting for her to appear at the moment hehehehe X)

Well there are certain qualities that my future girlfriend should like, its just simple though and not demanding. They are:

1. If possible, a teacher. 
Well there are some reasons why I would want my future girlfriend and wife to be a teacher though.
First thing is teachers has a lot of school holidays and they come back from work early unlike other occupations. So the time that can be used for family time would be a lot and for sure I would like to spend a lot of time with my wife and children as well right. Family time to me, is important because I want to have a stable family and I want my children to be loved and to be cared as much as me and my wife can give. Well if my wife and me have the same occupation, we can understand each other's level of stress or hardship faced in work so I can sit down together with her and discuss or talk about it when we face problems or stress. Understanding is also important for a married couple for me. ^__________^

2. Perhaps a Dusun or a Kadazandusun Christian ??
Hehehe well I came from a mixed family. My father is a chinese while my mother is a bidayuh. So I guess I don really care if I would married a dusun or a kadazandusun girl. Hahha since I be in Sabah for a long time, so I guess I just go for it. I had take a great interest in the dusun anda kadazandusun culture recently. Quite interesting. And I think that they are nice people and their language is also interesting as well. Well, hopefully I can meet a dusun or kadazandusun christian girl soon ...^____^
Besides Sabah is not far from Sarawak, so I dont want my girlfriend or wife to be people from semenanjung. I prefer Sabah and Sarawak only. Well I do have my reasons why though.... XD

3. Love or Money
Well this question is always the question I would throw to the girls I met. Hahaha, I dunno why I asked them but I just want to hear their answer about this question. I dont want a girl who loves my money and enjoys living a materialistic life. I just want a simple girl who can love me and care for me, taking good care of the family, not eyeing at my money or being materialistic. Even if I am not rich, I would do my best to earn as much income as I can to support my family for sure. I dont want my family to live without food, money and shelter. I want them to live well for sure...^____^

4. Must be a Christian
This point is the most important thing. She must be a Christian. I dont care what Christian is she as long as she is a Christian. I dont want a Muslim because I would need to convert my religion if I do so and my name would be changed as well. I knew my parents would support me if I marry a Christian and not a muslim. I dont want to be a muslim!!!

5. CHRISTIAN COURTSHIP
I wish for a relationship which puts God as the centre. I think this is important as well since I knew God would not be please if I neglect God, and put my future gf and wife first. I dont want that. That is why, I want to practice Christian courship with my future girlfriend and wife. ^_____________^
Not the typical relationships which most couples usually do.

6. Haha well all the above can still change from time to time right.Well I know its really hard to find a girl as perfect as the above, but I just leave it to God then. Hopefully I can meet with a girl who has the above qualities. Recently,  I found one actually but she is just my friend now, I dont know if she can be my girlfriend or not, but let times prove everything. I just surrender it to God though. I do have a crush on her but I guess crushes are just crush. Its just a crush, its not love ...^______________^ Hopefully you will be my girl friend and eventually my wife in the future....^_________________________________^
 Hahaha...I think that is all la, simple right ??....Well still waiting for her to come...Hopefully she will appear soon. I think I spotted a girl who is a friend of mine who match these qualities but I still dont know if she is the one for me though.  Well I just leave it to God to decide and see how things go then.
The end....^_________^

For a record, I had being single for 20 years.... :(

Well, as far as I know, I had been single for 20 years. Believe it or not ??? I never couple before and I dont even know how the feelings is though. Yeah for sure I have my crushes but none of them end up sucessfull though. When I had a crush on a girl, I just hide my feelings and like her from afar. LOL I was still immature that time right, and I dont know anything about it at all. Well my crush feelings for a girl just disappear like that after some time though. Its always like this I guess this is what people call a ''crush'' huh. LOL...

Well I have been having crushes since I was in Kindergarden until I was 19 years old. Well there was one crush at the age of 19 which I really take some action this time since I was more mature than my pass years and I learn how to tackle girls LOL. Its funny though when I think about it now. Well as the saying goes maybe its just a 'puppy love'. Well for my first real puppy love, it was horrible!! I like her for three months and she is kinda of giving me hopes that we can be a couple. She was the first girl that gives me hope and the first girl to accept my love (lol so geli when I wrote this post X). Well its just a sharing of thoughts though and it was a learning experience. Well this girl played me like a harp you know, giving me hopes, making me really fall for her things like that. In the end, she just told me to be friends and crushed my hopes of couple with her just like that. Actually she liked another guy when she gives me hope that time. So I guess I was her spare tyre literally and she throw me away when she got the tyre she wants. To make things easy, it means my feelings were played!!!  Ergh!! I never know my first puppy crush was so horrible. I thought it would at least be a happy one like what other people do but guess I was too naive. I trust her too much, I put too much hopes on her and my hopes just crushed down or literally it just ended up falling from the top of a 50 floor storrey building to the ground!

Ouch!! This is the first time my feelings were being played by a girl. And it was my first. The saddest part is, she ended up coupling with the tyre she like after she dump me and played with my feelings. Not only was my feelings played, my feelings hurt, I ended up miserable gaining nothing at all while she played my feelings just like that, and manage to be with her spare tyre. I gain all the negative feelings while she gain all the positive things. Is that fair at all ??? I received nothing!! Nothing at all, just a hurt heart, and a painful memory of her. She ? She gained happiness in the end and found her tyre. I was just like a piece of rubbish being thrown to the garbage. She did not even care at all about my feelings when she played me.

I was so pissed off though.I blame myself too much for being too naive, and I promised myself I would not be that naive anymore, wont trust girls too much, wont let my weak heart be hurt anymore and would be more careful to choose a girl whom I want to be my girlfriend and if possible my future wife. If it is really possible, I want my first love to be my last love. Hehe guess I could just pray for it huh.

Now I forgiven the girl already. Hehe thanks to Zell, she too had forgiven her ex boyfriend after hating him for so long. She make me realize too that I had hated her too long and it was now the time to forgive her. When I met her now, I have no hurt feelings anymore, I just feel nothing when I met her. I mean emotionless. When she talked to me, its like I am the robot while she is a human. Haha I dont know why like I am like that but I don hate her anymore and I forgive her. Its just that maybe it takes time for me to heal properlly before I can speak with her again. I am glad she is happy with her new tyre though I am the one having to suffer all the pains myself.

It was really a hard time for me after she dumped me. Its hard for me to get hold of myself but I manage to stand up until today, February 2011. It happen November, 2010. So guess I am finally ok after such a long time but it was really like hell when my feelings were being played. I felt so hurt. I cried at certain times and I was so miserable. Life is not so happy to me and I was wondering when will I be happy again. At certain times, I feel emotionless. I feel nothing. Gosh it was such a horrible time after my heart breaked.

With supports from my friends, my lecturers, my family, especially God, I manage to stand up again in life and become happy as I am today. Praise the Lord!! I often pray to God to give me strength during those hard moments. I thank God for sending my friends to support me when I am down at that time. They really give me a lot of advice and on things and asked me to move on, to stand up again in life. Without God, my family, my friends and my lecturer, I would not be as who I am today. I love them all so much. Thank you God!! Thank you Jesus! I love my parents, my friends!!!

Guess this is the only thing that I can share bout my love life since this is the only thing that happen..hehehe well I am more stronger now and more ''innaive'' (is there such word lol ) I am still waiting for that one girl though. Hopefully she will come soon. Amen... ^__________^